Welp.

Today I woke up in a great mood because I was graduating, but on the way to graduation rehearsal my Grandma called me crying. She said that she really wish that her and my papaw could go, but they can’t because his nurse told him that he can’t and my grandama couldn’t just leave him there. I know that he wanted to go more than anything. I don’t want him or my grandma to feel bad just because they didn’t see me walk across the stage for 5 seconds. When she called it all just hit me. It’s really going to happen. My grandma told me that he was really doing better than he was a few days ago and that they are trying to come to my party on Saturday. He has about four weeks to live. My grandma is being so strong about it too. God bless her. I don’t want him to go. He’s so cute and happy. He’s the strongest guy I know. The last time I saw him was a few weeks ago. We danced in the barn to Pink Floyd because he said he was sorry that he didn’t get to dance with me at prom. Now he’s hooked up to an oxygen tank and it all just breaks my heart. There’s nothing worse than knowing that someone you love is going to die soon. NOTHING.

But hey, at least I graduated. 

And yes I said the words “god bless her”. Weird, I know. But at this point in my life I have to believe in something. It’s what’s keeping me together.